This enables you at 85 years old
to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing
home at $4,000 per month.
My grandfather started walking when he was 63.
Now he's 97 years old
and we have no idea where he is.
I like long walks,
especially when they are taken
by people who annoy me.
The only reason I would take up walking
is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
I have to walk early in the morning,
before my brain figures out what I'm doing...
I joined a health club last year,
spent about 250 bucks.
Haven't lost a pound.
Apparently you have to go there!
Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise',
I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
I do have flabby thighs,
but fortunately my stomach covers them.
The advantage of exercising every day
is so when you die, they'll say,
'Well, he looks good doesn't he.'
If you are going to try cross-country skiing,
start with a small country.
I know I got a lot of exercise
the last few years,......
just getting over the hill.
We all get heavier as we get older,
because there's a lot more information in our heads.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Every time I start thinking too much about how I look,
I just find a pub with a Happy Hour
and by the time I leave,
I look just fine!
You could run this over to your friends
But just e-mail it to them!
It will save you the walk!
Submitted by Charlie Van Liere
One more thought on walking.
My mother once told us she was going to start walking a mile every day. I said "great by Thanksgiving you'll be in Omaha". She wasn't sure if I was kidding or not, and I did not tell her.
God gave me a finite number of heartbeats
and I am not going to waste them on walking.